I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I queefed so loud it echoed.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
