I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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