The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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