My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
