summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
