I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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