Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Shame - the story of my life.
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