i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this boner is exhausting
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
