His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
