just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
