update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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