I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
