the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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