Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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