What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
