it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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