I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
did you just send me my own nude
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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