Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
