Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize