I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
