I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
