I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
