idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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