At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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