I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
