He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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