Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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