just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Princesses don't give blow jobs
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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