yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
