dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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