i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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