Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
