when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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