I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
