Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
