i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
