i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
