All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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