at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
