I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
