you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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