At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
