Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
