Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
