why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
