YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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