That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
