i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
