Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
