i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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