Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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