I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
