I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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