Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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