I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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