you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize