no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Every concussion has its silver lining
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
