You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize