so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That accounts for only three of the penises
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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