I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
