i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize