i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
3 2 1 whiskey
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
