You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
