wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
