some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize