): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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