oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
