I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize