I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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