im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
