90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
