Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
we're so committed to being not committed
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
