so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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