Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
