You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
