I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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