Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
