Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My pussy is not your playground.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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