I'm going to rape someone's good day.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
