i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
