my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
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