I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
