i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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